Ugly Truths, Pretty Lies # 1

Women wants to hear you say it!
Ladies spend more time on the mirror before a date than the actual date itself. Not a fact, but its true. So give them a favor and appreciate every single thing that she did just to look nice for you. And if she doesn't look good, LIE...

They love the way we lie!

Observe...

You: "I like what you did with your hair"

Would work sometimes...

Dorkvader: Look like he saw Leia Amidala, "The hair is a filamentous biomaterial, that grows from follicles found in the dermis, but its so hard to explain how beautiful yours look tonight." The important thing is that you do not look like the creepy psycho-stalkerish but the irresistibly CUTE, think of Garth (Wayne's World) or Austin Powers.

And please don't wipe mucus out of your nose and/or use a dose inhaler in-front of her, even if it means your death because if you do, you are dead to her anyway. And she will never forget you, if you die in her arms...

Would work half of time.

Don Romantico: Notice the hair, look deep into her eyes and say, "A princess in a fairy-tale needs to wear a crown, but you only need your hair to look just like one". And pray she's smart enough to appreciate your metaphors. Women dig the fairy-tale vibe rekindling childhood fantasies. Up your game with classical mythology comparisons with the likes of Aphrodite or Helen of Troy . But if her reaction is a "Di nga?", or worse "Weh?", keep it par with her intellect and use artistas instead, an Angel Locsin or Anne Curtis will do just fine.

In theory, women love romance, however, there are dumb-ass chicks who can't differentiate making love in a bed of roses and fucking her brains out in the men's room.

Would work most of the time!

Mr. Mayabang-Funny Man: In a very funny way, exaggerate a compliment, "Your hair is so nice, you must have a salon next door!", but keep it cocky with, "I'll buy the whole salon and close it down to see if you can look as pretty as tonight!". If she starts to counter with her own yabang-statements but kept on laughing and/or punching and pinching you, oh boy, its on!

Never go for the Gay Route, "So girl, what contioner are you using? Aylavet!". It leaves you in the invisible line of the friends and the pathetic.

Would work all the time!!!

The Douchebag: "Nice but my grandma's hair was also black once". And just be yourself you lucky bastard! Think of "The Situation" on Jersey Shore. We all hate him because he is the biggest asshole MTV has to offer, but count how many televised cable-TV-appropriate make out sessions he has with several different women, if it was not acting, I would bet my entire fortune that he could fuck whoever he would want to.  (More on why the "Douchebags" always get the girl 100% of the time, but until then just take my word for it.)

In those stereotypes mentioned above, everything may or may not work out in totality.

"Women are aroused by what they hear. Men by what they see. So hide in your face with make up and listen to my bullshit." @ojayista

So always remember women want to hear things that make them FEEL GOOD about themselves, and when in doubt, notice only the things found from neck up and knees down, with that rule of thumb, unless you're a douche never say with your hands open, "Nice tits, may I?"

* Note to the public:
New blog segment inspired by the movie, The Ugly Truth. I just added "Pretty Lies" because of the irony and not from the TV series. The contents are my personal observations, opinions, and humor. If you don't agree, I may have to agree with you to when I wake up sober in the morning but I don't really give a flying fuck.

I should've used an alias as a precaution to haters, feminists and/or the self-righteous dicks but then I have to cut my balls off. Instead I incorporated comedy on my posts, so it would not appear too offensive and, yeah I know, it's not that funny either.